JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

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Wednesday, March 20, 2002
 
That'll show 'em
Australia's Prime Minister John Howard rules out sanctions against Zimbabwe over Mugabe's stolen election. But he did agree, after meeting with South Africa and Nigeria, to support Zimbabwe's suspension from the Commonwealth for one year. That's right -- just one year. If Mugabe had stolen a Chevy Cavalier, he'd have gotten a more serious punishment. Next time Mugabe steals an election, Howard has threatened to send him his Christmas card three or four days late.
"Australia would like to see another election held in democratic circumstances as soon as possible," he told ABC Radio.
And I'd like a pony. I think I'll suspend Zimbabwe from the David Commonwealth if they don't give me one.
But Mr Howard said the most important thing was that the three leaders had adopted a consistent approach to anti-democratic action.
The second most important thing was their decision to order the caesar salad instead of the house salad for lunch. Third involved the three leaders reaching agreement that there had been a smear campaign to deny A Beautiful Mind the Academy Award. Somewhere around tenth was actually doing something about Zimbabwe.

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